MM: July 24

It’s Monday, and I’m having surgery tomorrow! *insert big eyed anxious emoji* For those who don’t know, I’m having the screws from my ACL surgery in 2009 removed tomorrow.  The doctors believe the screws have been pushing on a tendon and the nerves behind it, causing the increasing pain I’ve been having over the last couple years, made worse by running. I’m very hopeful that it will alleviate my pain and allow me to get back to running!  Anyway, since it’s Monday, I have a few pictures to share with you from last week!

I was able to get a couple miles in with Jenn last week, and boy was it hot out. UGH it was hot! We sat with our legs in the pool after that ridiculously hot and humid run. It was nice to get a little run in with a friend before surgery. Hopefully in a couple of months, I’ll be able to get back to weekly runs with friends!

Photo Jul 18, 6 41 41 PM

I also got some miles in on the bike and on the ARC last week.

Photo Jul 23, 7 44 37 PM

On Thursday night, Chris and I went to the Royals/Tigers game. The Royals had a really good game, and the Tigers did not. We sat in Gordo Nation, and it was lots of fun to get the t-shirt and cheer ‘dem Roys on to a great win.

Photo Jul 20, 7 05 35 PMPhoto Jul 23, 7 39 35 PM

We got ice cream at the game, and I just had to put the little hat on Jazzy when we got home. He hated it, but he was beyond cute.

Photo Jul 23, 7 38 23 PM

Saturday morning, Chris and I biked to his eye doctor, to pick up his new pair of contacts. It was super warm and humid out, but we got in our long ride and ran an errand. Win-win!

Photo Jul 22, 9 18 27 AM

Also on Saturday, we saw the new Spiderman movie, got flowers to make the bouquets for our wedding, and did some other wedding stuff.  I planned on saving the bouquet making for the next couple of weeks when I’m laid up with my knee, but I caught the “get stuff done bug” and now all the bouquets are done! I will need to figure out boutonnieres, but that can wait a bit!

Photo Jul 22, 8 26 03 PM

Jasper has really been enjoying all the new spots to lay in our new townhome. Every time I look up, he’s laying somewhere new.  I think he’s happy here, and I know I love it here.  It really feels like home.

Photo Jul 23, 9 31 10 AM

Have a great week! I’ll try to post next week, but if I don’t, I’ll see ya’ll in a couple weeks! I hope everyone stays cool with this crazy heat!

2017: May Running

27 miles. That’s all I managed to run in May.  The theme of the month is knee pain and frustration with the knee pain.

After seeing the orthopedic doctor and my chiropractor several times, I am in less pain now than I started May with, however I also have not had a run in a week and a half, and I haven’t had a substantial run in over 2 weeks. =/  I ran 27 miles in May.  I did other things in May though; I went to 3 cycle classes, a handful of strength classes, and had several walks too.  You can read about my previous months recaps here:  JanuaryFebruaryMarch, and April.

Photo May 30, 8 56 09 PM.jpg

I don’t know how long my running break will be. I’m trying to give my knee the rest it needs, but it’s hard to not run.  All I want to do is run without my knee aching beyond measure.  I’m trying to stay positive and keep believing it will all work out and be okay.

Photo May 30, 8 58 14 PM.jpg

Looking forward to June: I have the Hospital Hill 10k this Saturday, and no other races scheduled. I actually have no races scheduled until September! I’m going to focus on getting my knee healthy and try to be as active as I can while it rehabs.

May stats:
Running:  7 runs, totaling 27 miles.
Biking: 3 cycle classes and 1 bike ride in Hays, totaling 47 miles.
Longest Run: 7 miles, May 13, in Hays, with Kristen, Mom, and Chris
Races: None

But I Will Run Again

I can’t run.

It’s not that the doctor has told me not to run, or that I am deciding to take some time off. Or even that I’m too busy or don’t want to run.

I can not run.

The pain in my knee and calf is too severe. My walk is a limp most of the time. I try to run and it’s at best a fast limpy convulsion that doesn’t really resemble running.

I saw an orthopedic doctor last week who said my knee pain stumped him, because structurally, my knee is fine.  He gave me a cortisone shot in my hip, because occasionally children present with knee pain that stems from a hip problem.  I was skeptical, but willing to try, because the pain has gotten that severe. Over the course of the day after my shot, my knee pain subsided, and by the time I woke up the next morning, I had 75% pain reduction.

I was elated! It was working!  As the day wore on, all the pain seeped back into my knee, and now I am in the same pain I was in before the shot. To say I was disheartened and frustrated would be an understatement. I sobbed to my mom, to a wonderful woman at work, to my family, to Chris…

I can’t run.

I tried to run yesterday, slow – painfully slow. I made it a half mile before honestly could not run another single step. I stood on the street corner and stretched and pleaded for my knee to just work.  I choked back a few tears, and I continued on, but at a walk.  I limped/walked another 4.5 miles, determined to at least get in a considerable amount of steps and try to keep my heart rate up enough to get something out of it.

The thoughts don’t stop. Will I ever be able to run again? Will the knee pain ever go away? Why doesn’t anyone seem to know what the problem is, so I can work to fix it? What if I can’t ever run again? Who am I if I don’t have running? How will I get in shape and lose some weight so my knee has less pressure, if I can’t run? What if I need surgery? What I I get surgery and it doesn’t fix it? What if I can never run again?

I’m determined to find an answer. I hate how expensive going to doctors is, especially when they don’t know what’s wrong, ordering tests and trying injections and so on.  But I’m not going to live with this pain and the inability to move.

I can’t run.

Right now.

But I will run again.

Running will always be there for me, even if I have to take a few months off.  Time to heal, time to strengthen, time to rebuild.  This scares me beyond measure because I am scared it is unfixable.

But I will run again.

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