Meanderings

I like my routine. I don’t like when my routine is disturbed. That being said, and somehow not conflicting with this statement as well: I love doing new things. I flew to Milwaukee this past weekend by myself. I flew. By myself. Something I’ve never done before. And I enjoyed it. I people watched, with abandon, at the airport before my flight. I carried all my stuff with me, and found my own seat. I navigated my layover airport with no problems, and was completely self-sufficient. I arrived in Milwaukee, spent a wonderful long weekend with my sister, my brother-in-law, and didn’t think a thought about anyone else but my immediate company. I lived in the moment, and I enjoyed every moment.

There’s something to be said about that, living in the moment. I didn’t think about my ended marriage, or the bills unpaid at home, or the work that was piling up while I took a couple days off. I did think of my kitty, and missed him something fierce, but I let something go this weekend, and lived my life. Now that I’m back home, and back to the grind, I find myself subdued and grudgingly back in my routine. I love my routine, but am feeling that I need a change. Over the past couple months, I have been informally looking for a new job, a new career, a new focus. I like what I do, but I am needing to do something different. Living on my own, which I have truly come to love over these last several months, costs a lot… and more money would obviously be nice. But it’s more than that. I feel I’m not challenged as I should be, and sometimes my days drag on endlessly, while I dream of being at home or of running, or of nearly anything else. Being 29 years old, with over 30 years in the workforce remaining, I feel I need to find something I am passionate about, that can support me, and I it, a career that can fulfill me. 

I’m not quite sure what this post was supposed to be about, or where it was going. Mostly, I just wanted to throw some words on the internet and get some of these thoughts out of my head. I feel energized after my weekend in Milwaukee, invigorated by the fall weather, and eager for what my future will hold, because I’m breathing deep and I’m ready to renovate  my routine. I’m excited to see what it’ll entail. 

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